I recently went home for a funeral. Home, to me, can either mean where I currently live in Maine or where I grew up, outside of Philadelphia. In this instance, I left my daughter at home in Maine so I could be with my family back home in Philadelphia. I left home to go to college way back when and have never landed back home in Suburban Philadelphia for any period of time since. Like so many people I have worked with over the years, home and family dynamics are ripe with early wounds, relational patterns, and opportunities to better handle your reactions when you get triggered. It’s kind of like you think you’ve worked on your issues and grown personally from who you once were. You’ve self-helped your way into a more evolved version of yourself… until you surround yourself with that oh-so-special family dynamic that in a moment cancels every therapy session you’ve ever had! Ha, tell me I’m not alone here, please! This […]

Have you ever manifested any of your big dreams into reality? Where you can look back to the days of pre-dream-turned-reality and remember the determination, consideration of logistics, sifting through the data you’ve collected, wishing, praying, looking for signs, and sush’ing doubt as you push on any door that can presumably get you closer to living your dream? I’m pretty sure a fair amount of my gray hair has accumulated during times of intense manifestation. Something about the grit it takes to emerge into a new phase of life also takes a bit of a toll. Side note: A little throwback story. I was school-aged, probably middle school-ish. We had been given an assignment where we had to have someone write positive qualities about us. My mom wrote, stick-to-itivness. Stick-to-itivness? WhatTH does that mean? So she explained I had an ability to see things through. Get it done. Not quit. Ah-ha. 6 years […]

Labor Day Weekend, in a world gone mad… or so it seems. Today, for me, is a respite from the mayhem. It’s a chance to catch my breath and move through the day at a slow and steady pace. Sitting on the front porch on a quintessential summer Saturday afternoon in Maine. It’s quiet. Thank God. World serves its own needs, listen to your heart bleedTell me with the Rapture and the reverent in the right? Right!It’s the end of the world as we know itIt’s the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine~R.E.M Any chance this song has drifted through your mind lately? That song was the text I received from one of my friends outside of Philly on the night Ida rolled through the North East. I’m pretty sure the World is off its axis and there ain’t no going back. Not to be […]

Have you ever had needles stuck in your eye? Me neither, until a month or so ago. Sadly, there is no heroic or adventurous reason why this had to happen. They say I’m at the right age. Sigh. The short version of this story is I woke up one late-June, Sunday morning and my vision was super wonky. I was seeing a combination of a very unusual light show and countless black specs. It was as though I was looking through a three-dimensional pattern of black pepper. There was no pain, just significant visual disturbance. And since I rarely run to the doctor, I self-assessed as I waited a couple of days till my good friend (who was in from out of town) pretty much insisted that I go. Although Google led me to believe this was kiiiiind of an emergent situation, I was in a bit of denial. After the standard dilation, images, […]

Let me ask you… are you better off sorting through logistics or going with the flow? Us humans can be hardwired in such a way that gives a strong bias towards one or the other. Because flow and logistics can act as such different forces to work with, most have a preference. Logistics. That hard boundary of black and white planning, most often around clocks and calendars. For some, that may feel like a satisfying and simple structure. Like a, ‘just tell me when to be there, and I’ll be there’ kind of operating system. Flow. I mean, when you are grooving down the river on a hot, summer day in a raft, meandering as the gentle forces carry you along, there’s nothing better. And wouldn’t life be grand if we could just go with the flow in a seemingly clear direction? One time management system is a man-made structure. The other is […]

Transition. In my household transition is a recognized phenomenon. Having raised a kid that goes between two homes with two very different parenting styles, transition is something that has been named and accepted as a way to honor the process of shifting gears. Transitioning is like a whole mood. There can be a range of emotions expressed in the lead up of transition- like an anticipatory anxiety and a form of distancing or separation. And on the back end of the transition, there can be an attitude swing or a necessary period to re-acclimate. In my home, the words, ‘I’m transitioning’, means I’m here, but I’m still adjusting to the contrast of what was in the very recent past. In other words, transition is real! And aren’t we (collectively) in it thick!? I knew it when it startedFelt the shift right as it partedSo my feet cried down below meSaw the whole room move around meSaw my […]

I was listening to a podcast the other day. Business related stuff. This guy was telling his story as a 20-something who dramatically and quickly changed his career from a corporate gig to a successful copywriting entrepreneur. Although it was inspiring (those entrepreneurial wins land well in my mind) that wasn’t what grabbed my attention the most. The backstory started in the office of his seemingly cush corporate gig. He was landing high-end deals, climbing the ranks and making bank at a pretty young age. He played the game well and had quick success right out of the gate. But he was working for the man and his world –his inner world– was telling him he was cut out for something different. He recounted the story in such a way that made it easy to tell his body was trying to get his attention. He went on to say he wanted to bang his […]

It’s that time of year here in Maine when the itch to open the windows and get outside is so real. To run free from the confines of winter boots and ice cleats is something I long for every single March. Taking that first bike ride of the season surrounded by remnants of dirty snow banks and sandy roads. 40 degrees never feels so good as it does in March in Maine. The trusty expectations of the weather was all there was to rely on this past year as we were immersed in the disorienting nature of a world masked upside down. And even that wasn’t always a guarantee. It’s just about one year later and what a relief to still have to consider mud boots or ice cleats when heading out to the woods. Because, normalcy. Do you find yourself reflecting on the fact that collectively we have hit this […]

There’s nothing like a song that directly speaks to your situation and meets your emotional status with perfect resonance. A finely queued song can meet the moment like a lyrical, rhythmic hug of support. Undoubtably there is some heartbreakingly beautiful, raw and intense music just waiting to be released to help soothe our collective ache. As 2020 bleeds into 2021, I can’t help but draw some parallels between acute and chronic distress. In an acute situation, the crisis hits fast and hard. The speed and unexpected nature of an acute trauma is part of the trauma itself. When something is chronic, the build is slow and steady; it can really take hold and grow roots. It’s the slow build of roots taking hold that leads to prolonged dysfunction. Now we are finding ourselves in this collective acute situation that is definitely inching into chronic territory. It’s all getting pretty freakin’ […]