HEADS UP: This post contains content on the subject of women's health. If you aren't into what happens down there, this is your opportunity to bow out.
A few weeks ago I hated to even say the word fibroid.
It's got that middle-aged reality associated with it. Where you can picture two maturing women sharing stories, whispering over a cup of decaf about how their pelvis, hormones, and periods have been affected by the benign growths that develop on or inside the uterus.
While this has been a mostly private experience up until now, my healing uterus keeps nudging me to share. Ugh, fine.
Writing helps me process... hitting send is a different story entirely.
As with most things when it comes to dis-ease and healing, there is a long and winding emotional wound that somehow attaches itself to the current affliction.
In my case, we're talking about the pelvis, my uterus specifically, the root chakra, the foundation of my structure, and the epicenter of feminine energy.
I ask myself, FFS, does this story even have a beginning?
A couple of things to keep in mind:
🌀 Despite the fact I had a grapefruit+ sized fibroid plus a couple of smaller fibroids on my uterus, it wasn't until more recently that I began to experience uterine-related symptoms.
🌀 These fibroids were on the outside of the uterus, meaning I was fortunate enough to not experience any typical period-related symptoms that occur when fibroids live inside the uterus.
🌀 I have an intimate knowing about the right side of my pelvis (where the fibroid was). Most of that knowing, ironically, is not knowing...
The fascial system weaves such an intricate web. The way it holds our hurts, stores trauma in the connective tissue, and keeps the inner turmoil murky, muted, or even out of reach under the guise of some sort of survival mechanism. Because the pain can be too much to endure.
But that which is out of reach or off the radar keeps us in perpetual cycles of dysfunction while trying to feel and deal with what we literally can't access.
The human condition is so complex.
The female pelvis is dangerously powerful.
It holds an energy that can disrupt the status quo. It equally feels the intensity of both pleasure and pain. It creates balance or knocks you off your center. It carries new life, or the story associated with it if it never does.
Back in January, the day before my 50th birthday, I got a pelvic ultrasound which confirmed the gigantic fibroid. On the screen, I could see all the contents of my pelvis pushed and squished out of place. 🥴
HowTF did I miss this?
I knew I didn't know.
I knew my tailbone was perpetually stuck.
I knew the right side never caused me pain. Stoically so.
I also knew the right hip was always quietly full, tight, and jammed.
And I assumed it was in relation to all the things I felt on the left.
I knew my digestion was suuuuuper sluggish.
I knew I was blocked... on so many levels.
Out of balance. Off kilter. Always seeking, to no avail.
Until the day before 50, when the clarity came flooding in.
My awareness in this area was all but shut off. For a shockingly long time...
Because at one point, many years ago, realizing I wasn't aware of this area WAS the breakthrough! 🤯
As I heal from a Uterine Artery Embolization procedure, the body geek in me is continually fascinated by the healing process. As the fibroids literally die inside and the body reabsorbs the debris (so cool and so impeccably gross!) I am learning how to find this new space that has been made.
How to bend without shifting. Walk with a smoother gait. Release a chronically tight psoas because it now has room to lengthen. Breathe into the right side because the diaphragm can now more fully drop. And break long-held movement patterns that kept me shut off from this precious space.
Literally finding a new way to move through my world as I heal.
So. Much. Change.
And this email is already too long to get into so. much. more.
As with any significant release, the ripple effect is real! My fascination with fascia and the body's ability to heal in due time is at an all-time high.
I share all of this because:
➡️ Awareness! The process to finally understand what was going on took a long time. Do your homework, ask questions.
➡️ Healing is not one size fits all. Options are highly individualized. Being an advocate in your own health care is essential.
➡️ A blend of western medicine and alternative therapies can be a stellar combination. Build a team of both.
➡️ No matter your level of body awareness, there is always room to hide that which you aren't ready to deal with.
With this procedure now behind me, I will be opening the Myofascial Membership for enrollment in the upcoming weeks. Because fascial health is your ally.
And there are a few new videos on YouTube. Click here to check out this short welcome playlist.
How's your pelvis? Do you have a story you'd care to share? A pelvic scar that could use a witness? A tender wound that could use a safe place to land and be heard? Email me and I will hold your sacred story with the utmost care.
On your side as you uncover wounds and discover those inner revelations,